Chibified
by Laili the Turk
Summary: Rufus, Reno and Rude go down to Hojo's lab. Reno's curosity gets them into trouble as the three are now turned into 4 year olds. Elena and Tseng have to parent them until they can find a cure.
1. The Accident

Hello agian its Laili! If you all enjoyed 'Mass Delusion of Mayhem' here is another funny story on the Turks and now... Rufus! I'm working on my RufusxOC fic so here's something to keep you busy

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Chibified

Chapter 1: The Accident

Rufus went through his schedule, checking off what he had done. His chair, which made him sit and be known as the president, was giving him a lovely relaxing back massage with it's built in back massage. No wonder why the president was so happy in his chair…

3_:00 p.m. See Hojo about experiments_

Rufus shivered at reading it, it was already 2:45. He then came with an idea. He picked up his phone and hit a button.

Turk Floor…

"So, you are to escort President Rufus in Hojo's lab for safety. Do I make myself clear?" Tseng looked at Reno and Rude who were standing in front of his desk.

"Yes Sir." Rude nodded.

"No problamo boss man." Reno grinned with a thumbs up.

"If I hear about any trouble, you're dead Reno." Tseng sighed.

"Wha! Dude, I did not start that food fight at the Turk dinner! That was—" Reno was pointing around the place like crazy.

"Now! Go! Before I kill you!" Tseng barked. Rude grabbed Reno by the collar of his jacket and dragged him out. Rufus stood at the end of the hall.

"Ok. Don't touch anything, stay in sight, and we are to get in and out as fast as we can. Clear?" Rufus looked at Reno and Rude.

Rude nodded. Reno sighed. "It's just a lab."

"Try lab with 'evil experiments I don't want to know about that I must know about'." Rufus said as he got into the elevator. "Reno, do not grab anything so that you can torture Elena or any of my employees with it."

Reno snapped his fingers and cursed silently. Rufus had caught him… again…

They got down to Hojo's lab. Grayish-green smoke was everywhere like fog. The three men stuck together for safety, Rufus in the lead, followed by Rude then Reno.

Reno looked around, nervously laughing. "Looks like Hojo did some redecorating… heh heh."

They went through and a monster jumped at Reno from it's locked cage, making Reno scream like a little girl and jump into Rude's distressed arms. "IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!"

"Reno…" Rude grunted. Rufus slapped his forehead and cursed. Rude dropped Reno with a _thud_ when Reno hit the floor. "Get a grip."

"Sorry." Reno got up. He saw a lever on this laser ray machine. Reno looked at it as Rufus called out.

"Hojo?" Rufus called. "Anyone here?"

"What does this do?" Reno asked, finger lightly on the lever.

"Reno don't touch that!" Rude ran form Rufus's side and grabbed Reno. Rufus followed to help Rude get Reno away by pulling at Reno.

"I wanna pull the—" Reno's fingers were grasped around the lever, which was stuck as Rude and Rufus had him by the feet pulling. Reno wasn't even on the floor.

The lever snapped to 'ON' and Reno fell backwards, taking Rufus and Rude along and piled in a big heap of … themselves.

"Reno!" Rufus growled. "This was your…"

Out of nowhere, a green light hit them.

Back in Tseng's office…

"Sir? Where's Reno and Rude?" Elena popped her head in the door to Tseng's office. "They need to sign this."

"Escorting Rufus in the lab, they should be back by now…" Tseng said as he worked on paperwork. "Sit there and wait."

Elena plopped herself on the small couch in the office.

2 hours later…

Elena was asleep on the couch. Tseng was seated at his desk, waiting for Reno and Rude to come back.

"That's it." Tseng got up and grabbed his gun. "Elena."

Elena popped her head up. "Huh? Wha?"

"We're going to look for Reno and Rude, and Rufus also. Go to Hojo's lab, I'm going to the President's office." Tseng walked out. Elena followed and went into the elevator.

"Hello?" Elena called. She walked in carefully into the lab, gun drawn. She walked through until she tripped and fell onto her face on something.

"Ow…" Elena muttered. She then felt something on her butt, like a head.

"Mmm… soft…" A childish voice was heard. Elena turned around and screamed. She shoved the red haired, sleepy child off and sat up against the machine, breathing heavily. In a flash with shaking hands she got out her phone.

3 minutes later…

"Elena?" Tseng walked in, gun drawn.

"Sir?" Elena shuddered in fear, still sat up against the machine, she pointed to where the child was.

A red head boy sat up, shook his head and yawned. "Man, that stung."

Tseng was shocked in horror and dropped his gun as his jaw dropped. "Reno?"

"Hey." The child size Reno stood up, he was in his Turk uniform which was way to big for him, the shoes clunked on the floor. "What up boss man?"

Elena was speechless. "Sir?"

"Reno." Tseng sighed. "What did you do?"

"I pulled that lever that Rufus and Rude wouldn't let me touch." Reno smiled then it looked worried. "Uh… oh."

"Where's—" Tseng started.

"Tseng!" A blonde hair boy was standing, his clothes were Rufus's but too big for him like Reno's. "I demand to know what is going on and to go back to my office now!"

"Rufus?" Elena asked, standing up.

"Yes Elena, why are you so tall?" Rufus asked, pointing to Elena.

"Where's Rude?" Tseng looked around.

"Here sir." A boy was behind Tseng, except he was in a Turk uniform and his sunglasses didn't fit. He was bald also.

"My god." Elena gasped. "My boss and co-workers are now 4 years old!"

"What!" Rufus's jaw dropped. "I'm 4!"

"Indeed, you, Reno and Rude." Tseng shook his head.

"Whoo hoo!" Reno smiled and jumped for joy. "I'm young again!"

"Elena. Get these three out and get them some clothes that'll fit." Tseng sighed. "I'll go look for Hojo."

"You're leaving me… with three 4 year olds!" Elena yelled. "I hate kids!"

"Love you too Elena." Reno smiled.

"Just get them out and after you get them clothes, take them to my place." Tseng pointed to Elena. "My phone is on me if you have trouble."

"Ok. But you're watching them when you get back." Elena growled and shooed the three now turned into children co-workers and boss out.

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So, there's chapter 1 (with no typos! yay!). So coming soon is Chapter 2: Trip with Elena


	2. Bad, bad, bad, bad boys

Ok, there was a problem. I lied. There were typos. :smacks forehead: Yes. Very very bad of me. And I also forgot the disclaimer. So... Rufus-sama?

Rufus: What?

Disclaimer! Please googly bear?

Rufus::sighs: Laili does not own any of the characters in this fic but the ninja squirrels who are not present in this fic.

Good Rufus-sama. Here is chapter two, named after the line in thesong 'Bad Boys'

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Chibified

Chapter 2: Bad, bad, bad, bad boys

Elena drove in the car as fast as she could, trying to get to the store. All three 'boys' were seated in the backseat. Rufus in the middle, Reno on his right, and Rude on his left.

"Ok, we are going to get some clothes that will fit. One pair of pants, your choice, one shirt, your choice, and shoes, your choice. Anything else?" Elena asked.

"Hair gel." Reno smiled. Rufus smacked him.

"You don't need any!" Rufus yelled.

"Shut up." Reno pouted and looked out the window. "Spoiled brat…"

"Artificial redhead!" Rufus shouted back.

"Gel head!" Reno shouted back.

The two yelled names as Elena grew furious and her hands gripped tighter on the steering wheel. As soon as Reno finished his last name to Rufus. Elena had it.

She slammed on the brakes, sending the three almost into the seats in front of them. Thank god for seat belts.

"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!" Elena turned her head and shouted. "GOD, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE 4 YEAR OLDS!"

"We are 4 year olds Elena." Rufus crossed his arms.

"Rufus Alexander ShinRa! DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME OR PLAY SMART ASS!" Elena shouted. "I FUCKING KNOW YOU'RE ALL 4 YEAR OLDS BUT YOU'RE ALL 23 IN NORMAL LIFE!"

Both boys flinched in their seats from Elena's shouting.

"Do I make myself clear?" Elena calmed down.

"Yes." Rufus and Reno said.

"And for doing that. Rude, is there anything you like to get special?" Elena smiled to Rude.

"Sunglasses that will fit." Rude said, pointing to his bare face.

"Ok. As for you two. You get nothing." Elena looked at the two troublemakers. Rufus sat back in his seat and crossed his arms and blew hair out of his face. Reno sat back and also blew the hair out of his face.

Rude just grinned at the two.

At the store…

Elena and the boys walked into the store. "Clothes. And only clothes. Since Rufus is still president, we stick together."

They walked though the store until a lady stopped them. "Looking for clothes?"

"Yes. These are my… nephews." Elena smiled and lied. "You see, their house was burned down in Kalm and they lost all their things. They're wearing their father's clothes and we need to come get some."

The three looked up and smiled, and waved in their oversized jackets.

"Oh. They are little angels." The lady pulled on Reno's cheek, then Rufus's. "Aisle 5 is boy's clothing."

"Thank you. Now what do you say boys?" Elena smiled at the three.

"Thank you." They all smiled. As soon as they got back to walking, Rufus and Reno were rubbing their cheeks.

"That hurt." Reno winced a he rubbed his cheek.

"God, I hate being little. Grandma and Aunt Sheri did it all the time…" Rufus complained as he rubbed his cheek.

They got into the aisle and Elena sat down in a chair in front of the changing rooms. "Pick what you want and try them on."

Rufus was done with his picking and walked into the changing room. When he came out, he was in a white t-shirt and jeans. "Is this ok Elena?"

"Great." Elena sighed. "Just stay in those."

Rufus sat on the bench next to Elena. Rude walked into the changing room and got into a black shirt and jeans. "I'm good."

"Sit." Elena pointed next to Rufus. Rude went in, picked up his and Rufus's clothes and sat on the bench.

Reno did the same but came out in a green shirt saying 'Don't call me cute' and jeans. "Can I wear the shirt?"

"Yes." Elena got up. "Gimme your suits. Let's get Rude sunglasses and go through checkout."

"Can't we get changed?" Rufus asked.

"Wanna look like a hobo?" Elena began walking.

"No." Rufus replied.

"Then do as I say." Elena smiled.

The got to the sunglasses and Rude began looking. The three waited 15 minutes before Rude got the perfect pair. They looked just like his 'older' ones. He slipped them on and looked in the mirror.

"Ok, set." Rude turned to Elena.

"Ok, shoes." Elena walked over to shoes and the three got a matching set, which was too easy. They slipped them on with some socks and headed for checkout.

Elena picked up Rude first and placed him on the counter. The clerk searched for tags, slid Rude through and onto the other side.

"Wait!" Rude took off his sunglasses and held them to the clerk. The clerk swiped them through and back into Rude's hand. Rude then hopped off and stood next to Elena.

Elena put Rufus up and the clerk slid Rufus on through.

Reno was last as Elena put him up. Reno closed his eyes as he was slid through. Elena picked him up and placed him down; Reno still had his eyes closed and was in a frightened position.

"Reno, open your eyes, your though." Elena sighed. Reno popped opened an eye and looked.

"Hey. I'm ok!" Reno smiled. Rude shook is head.

"It was just a laser Reno." Rude sighed.

"Well, I'm afraid of lasers after what he did!" Reno pointed to Rufus. Rufus smiled.

"Oh, that." Rufus chuckled. "You thought it was off a gun with a laser on it. I still have pictures."

"You have better not…" Reno growled.

"Only on my laptop." Rufus smiled. "Maybe I'll send them as blackmail."

"Boys!" Elena called into order. "Enough."

She slid the credit card through and paid for the clothes. She then escorted the boys out as they were ripping off the tags.

"Now. We are going to Moogle King to eat and off to Tseng's." Elena opened the door and all the boys hopped in.

Moogle King…

"I like to have a salad, medium ice tea, and three Munchkin Moogle meals." Elena spoke into the drive thru speaker. All the boys were pouting in the back.

"Anything else?" The lady spoke in the speaker.

"Three large chocolate milkshakes instead of small sodas." Elena smiled. All the boys looked up and smiled.

5 minutes later…

"You're the best Elena." Reno smiled as he ate his burger at the picnic table.

"Why large milkshakes?" Rufus asked, sipping on his milkshake.

"I don't want a hyper four year old Reno running around." Elena said eating her salad. "Besides, I couldn't get you boys the 'traditional' meals."

"You mean my extra large steak sandwich, large fries, and a large coke?" Rude looked up.

"Yep." Elena sipped on her ice tea. "Now. Tseng is trying to find out how to fix you guys so after we're done eating, we're going to Tseng's. Got it?"

"Yep." All boys shook their head with food in their mouths.

"No eating with your mouth full." Elena ordered.

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So there you have it. Chapter 2. And the next chapter will be called"Oh Shit..."


	3. Oh Shit

Well... Another chapter in the same day. This time... no typos (i'm so happy). Rufus! Disclaimer please!

Rufus: Laili does not own anything in this fic other than the ninja squirrels who are not present in this fic

Thank you Rufus-sama. So. Here is Chapter 3: Oh Shit

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Chibified

Chapter 3: Oh Shit…

Tseng walked through the grayish green mist. He was a bit creeped out but he had gotten use to it.

"Hojo!" Tseng shouted. "Where the hell is he!"

"Here Tseng." A creepy voice spoke behind Tseng, making him jump in the air and turn, aiming the gun at the scientist.

"You gonna shot me for that?" Hojo replied, lifting his eyebrow at Tseng.

Tseng lowered his gun. "You scared me."

"I apologize then. Have you seen the president?" Hojo asked as he moved to the machine that turned them into children.

"He wasn't felling well so he went home ill. He'll reschedule with you whenhe is back." Tseng replied. "What is that?"

"The Age-Reducer 5000." Hojo smiled. "It turns an adult back into a child for a short matter of time. The former president who we lost had seen this, but didn't approve. I was hoping President Rufus would approve… turning armies into crying babies."

"For how long are they young?" Tseng asked.

"A month." Hojo looked over to Tseng. In Tseng's mind, he cursed.

"Well, in that case," Hojo began walking away. "I'll see the President later then."

"Oh shit… Elena's not going to like the news." Tseng sighed.

Tseng was in the President's office going through the sick day chart on the computer. Thankfully, All three men had lots of sick days to use. Reno had 3 days, Rude 2 days, and Rufus also had 2 days used up.

:Hits pause button: Ok, Let me go though the sick day chart I made for the ShinRa. All employees plus executives plus the president get a total of two months off. Since the Turks go on dangerous missions and get hurt a lot. All Turks get 3 months off. Ok, back to the fic :hits play:

Tseng entered in the computer to take one month off starting today, mentioning that Reno and Rude were injured from a mission and Rufus was ill then had vacation.

Tseng did some work and plans for the three 'boys'. He left at 5 p.m. to get to his house. Elena had to be there with them right now.

Tseng walked into the house, seeing Elena making dinner as the boys were on the couch watching TV.

"Making dinner?" Tseng walked in. Elena turned to see Tseng.

"Yeah. Fed the boys lunch around lunch time. So, how long are they four years old?" Elena asked as she took a drink of water.

"A month." Tseng sat down. Elena spit out the water and coughed.

"A MONTH! I HAVE TO PLAY MOM FOR A MONTH! I CAN GO A WEEK BUT NOT A MONTH SIR!" Elena yelled. All three boys had their heads in the kitchen door.

"Elena?" Reno asked. "You mean I'm kid for a month?"

"Yes Reno, and so is Rufus and Rude." Tseng sighed.

"Whoo hoo!" Reno jumped for joy.

"Reno! This isn't good!" Tseng yelled, making Reno stop what he was doing. Tseng regained his posture as he took a deep breath. "I have marked you three off for a month off. Reno, Rude, you're at home recovering from a mission. Rufus, you are very ill and you have a two week vacation following that."

Rude walked in and adjusted his sunglasses. "Anything else we need to know sir?"

"No." Tseng got up.

"Why did you say I'm sick first then vacation?" Rufus asked.

"You want me to write that you're 3 times shorter and you can't drive or do work cause you're four years old?" Tseng lifted an eyebrow at the young president.

"No." Rufus shook his head.

"Then play stupid when you're normal again." Tseng sighed.

"Well. How about you boys go watch TV with Tseng while I finish dinner." Elena shoved Tseng into the living room. "Besides. It's Tseng's turn to babysit."

Tseng turned so that he could say something but saw three little boys looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Tackle him!" Reno shouted. All three pounded Tseng to the floor as he tried to run. He had three boys on him trying to wrestle. Tseng got up, with Rufus on his back and messed around with the boys.

He felt like a father of three boys.

Elena was cooking up some vegetables and chicken with cheese and rice. She set the table and looked in the living room to check up. Tseng was getting a noogie (rubbing his head hard with his fist) from Reno and he was trying to catch Rufus and Rude running around him as he sat on the floor.

"Boys! Play nice!" Elena shouted.

All the boys stopped and looked at Elena. Tseng then leaned down so that the boys can hear and whispered. "Get her."

All the boys grinned and chased after Elena. Elena bolted as they chased after her.

"I got dinner to cook!" Elena shouted. "Go get Tseng again and I'll give you dessert!"

The boys stopped and looked at Tseng who was currently laughing at the doorway.

Rufus lead the chase. "Get him!"

Tseng stopped and ran for life the boys chased after him. Elena smiled, clapped her hands together and finished dinner. "That was just perfect. And at least Tseng has chocolate ice cream in the freezer."

"Elena! I need back up!" Tseng shouted from the other room.

"Backup can't make it!" Elena shouted back while laughing. "You're on your own! And that's revenge for earlier!"

"Ele—" Tseng was then muffled in his screams.

"Dinner's ready!" Elena placed the food on the table. "Wash up and get in here!"

All the boys stopped tackling Tseng and went to the bathroom and did what they were told. Elena did get the warning, do as she says or no beer for the 'welcome back to being 23' party they had planned when the boys were normal again.

They walked into the kitchen and sat down.

"Where's Tseng?" Elena asked.

"Playing dead in the living room." Rude sat in his seat. Elena pouted as she left the kitchen.

"You guys eat up, I'll get him." Elena walked into the living room, seeing Tseng sprawled out on the floor. Elena walked to his side and kicked him in the side gently.

"Get up or do I need a phoenix down. Food's ready." Elena said with hands on her hips. Tseng popped open an eye and got up.

"I was just seeing how they would respond if I played dead." Tseng nervously chuckled as he adjusted his suit.

"Tseng. Two of them are Turks, one is the President who took Turk training as well. I don't think that will work." Elena smiled.

"Oh, that…" Tseng looked down at the floor. "Forgot that they're Turks and a President."

Elena rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen to eat.

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So there's chapter 3. I got a lot of reviews from a lot of people on Chapter two. Right Rufus Sama?

Rufus: Yep

Thank you for the reviews.


	4. First Night

Ok, there was a problem... I lied again... there were typos. I jinx myself too much... well... Rufus-sama! Disclaimer!

Rufus: Laili does not own anything in this fic but the ninja squirrels who are not present in this fic.

Alrighty. Oh, I have my Turk RPG site up. All Characters who are already made (Like Tseng, Reno, etc.) are all open. I'm lready in as my character. Links at the end of this chapter.

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Chibified 

Chapter 4: First night

"Time for bed boys." Tseng stood up. "You're going to be sleeping together because I sold all my beds but two at the garage sale."

All the boys stared at him.

"Dude. I only sleep with women. Not with my boss or my pal, not even a threesome with the two!" Reno complained.

"Wanna sleep on a cold floor?" Elena tapped her foot and looked at Reno.

"No." Reno looked at the floor.

"But… I agree. We're all boys." Rufus jumped off the couch. "We'll be known as gay guys when we get back to work."

"Who said we were going to tell?" Tseng lifted an eyebrow.

"No one." Rufus lowered his head.

"Then be good. It's only between us." Tseng said. "Reno. Keep your mouth shut because I know you'll embarrass Rufus by telling the girls who like him how he sleeps. Got me?"

Reno snapped his fingers. Tseng got him… again.

"I have a question." Rude got up. "Where's Elena going to sleep?"

Rufus and Reno snickered. Tseng hadn't even thought of this. "Well… She can go home or…"

"I'll be on the couch." Elena said. "I'll go grab my things. Be back in a bit." Elena walked out and waved as she closed the door.

"Alright. We made our sleeping arrangements. Now, all of you are taking showers and for your pajama's, your uniform shirts. Reno, you're first."

Aww… why me?" Reno pouted.

"Faster you clean up for bed, the more TV you get." Tseng smiled. Reno looked at him, smiled and bolted for the bathroom.

"I still don't want to—" Rufus started.

"Rufus, think of it as extra bodyguard protection since these two are your body guards." Tseng kneeled down to Rufus. "I'll get air mattresses tomorrow and you three will take turns using the bed. Only one night, got me?"

"Ok, I can go one night." Rufus nodded. Tseng smiled as he ruffled his blonde hair.

Elena came back with her duffle bag with spare clothes, a uniform, sneaker, and her feminine needs. She looked to see Tseng standing at the spare room door.

"Where are the—" Elena started but Tseng shushed her and pointed into the room. Elena peered in to see three, peaceful little boys sleeping.

"They look like angels." Elena smiled. Tseng sighed as he began to walk away, Elena followed until they heard a _thump_ in the room.

The two looked to see Reno had fallen off the bed, but still asleep. They both sighed as Tseng picked him up, Elena held open the sheet and tucked Reno back into bed.

Next morning…

Rufus awoke with something hitting his face constantly. He lightly woke up to find Reno's foot in his face. Rufus growled and came up with an idea. He shoved Reno off the bed, who fell to the floor asleep and Rufus moved away form Rude and curled back to sleep.

Reno awoke, sat up, yawned, shook his head, making his red hair messier to it's normal state and looked to see he was on the floor. He stood, seeing the Rufus moved over and was sleeping.

Reno grabbed a pillow and whacked Rufus with it, waking him up.

"What was that for!" Rufus hissed.

"You shoved me off the bed!" Reno hissed back.

"Reno, you fell off it in the middle of the night." Rufus sighed and grabbed a pillow. "And this is for waking me up!"

He smacked Reno with the pillow. Reno jumped on the bed and the two had a pillow fight.

"I'm a Turk you know! I can kick your ass 'Mr. President'!" Reno tackled Rufus with the pillow.

"So! I control your paycheck!" Rufus whacked him with his pillow. The two stopped to see Rude still sleeping.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Reno whispered with a smile.

"Get him!" Rufus ordered and the two pounced on Rude. Who woke up, grabbed his pillow and got the two. The three had a pillow fight until they stopped.

"Where's Tseng and Elena?" Rufus asked.

"Good question sir. I thought they be trying to stop us." Rude placed his sunglasses on.

"Let's wake them up!" Reno jumped up. They all quickly got into the clothes they got yesterday and ran to the living room, wanting to get Elena and then have her help them get Tseng.

But she wasn't there.

"Maybe she went home." Rude said.

"No, she went to get her things and come back." Rufus looked at Rude. Reno had wondered off to Tseng's room. He opened the door, his jaw dropped and closed the door.

"Reno?" Rude asked. "You look like you saw a ghost."

"Elena's sleeping with Tseng." Reno whispered. Rufus and Rude looked at each in shock but then smiled.

"Well, I'm still their boss, they have explaining to do." Rufus smiled. Reno smiled and opened the door. All three lined up to see Elena in Tseng's arms sleeping. Tseng was sleeping as well. They all had the most devilish grins on their faces.

"On the count of three…" Rufus made one finger, two, and when it hit three. "NOW!"

They all jumped onto the bed and Tseng and Elena woke up, seeing all three boys jumping on the bed.

They had a pillow fight and then…

"Wasn't Elena supposed to be on the couch?" Rude asked. The two adults looked at each other. Rufus crossed his arms.

"I may be four, but I'm still your boss." Rufus smiled.

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So there it is. I whipped this up in ten mintes. new record. The first chapter to my RufusxOC fic is almost ready. At least in two days It'll be up. 

Reviews... my god there coming in a lot! (Like threein fifteen minutes of posting it!) I thank you all for the surprise of the reviews. I even have some of my favorite authors reviewing!

Next chapter... I'm on writers block... got any ideas?

Oh, before I go 'poof' here is the link I promised you for my Turk RPG. It's based off Before Crisis. Ok, have a diffuculty putting it up here, It'll be in my profile (click on my name to get the link)


	5. Out for Fun

Well, I'm off writer's block. I was able to write this out with the idea from Arashi Maxwell, aka Wolf who is a dear fan of this fic. This is for you.

News on my Turk RPG. 10 members and over 200 posts. I'm smiling as I have 'In the Sky' by Miz from Grandia III blaring into my ears right now. Come join... its FREE! Need more people to get some characters up andrunning!

I have my RufusxOC fic up called 'I'm Sorry'. Take a look, I just need to add some lines to split some parts up, looks confusing(I double spaced it but it didn't do it here... ggrrrr). anywho. Rufus-sama! Disclaimer!

Rufus: Laili does not own any of the charcaters execpt the ninja squirrels who are not present in this fic.

And this is for Wolf who gave me this idea! Enjoy!

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Chibified

Chapter 5: Out for fun

Tseng sat at the table as he read the paper. Elena was busy keeping the boys in order and making breakfast. Tseng read the paper until he came by an ad.

_Midgar Fair Open! _

_October 9 to October 18_

_Opening Today with free child admissions._

Tseng then popped with an idea. Since the three never had much of a childhood, what's wrong with the trip to the amusement park?

"Tseng? What are you doing?" Reno asked, his head leaning to the left in question.

"We're going to the amusement park when we get done breakfast." Tseng whispered. "Don't tell the other three."

Reno smiled and saluted. "Scouts honor!"

Everyone sat down and ate. Tseng kept an eye on Reno, making sure that he wasn't saying a word. Elena made pancakes this morning, along with bacon and eggs. It was very good to eat.

"So, Tseng. Anything else I need to know about?" Rufus lifted an eyebrow. Indeed Tseng and Elena explained about sleeping together. No matter what, Rufus is right, he maybe four, but he is still their boss.

"No. But Reno does." Tseng smiled as he sipped his coffee.

"Reno?" Rude lifted an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Huh?" Reno had his mouth full of pancakes and a piece of bacon stinking out of his mouth. "Who are we talking about?"

Rufus slapped his forehead. "Tseng said you know something!"

"But, Tseng! I said Scouts honor!" Reno said, mouth full of food.

"No eating with your mouth full Reno." Elena sighed, she sipped on her coffee too.

"You can tell them Reno." Tseng smiled.

Reno swallowed and smiled. "Tseng's taking us to the amusement park!"

Rufus and Rude, who were sipping on milk, nearly spitted it out after hearing that. Rufus wiped off the milk off his lips and looked at Reno. "Is not, Tseng would never do that."

Tseng smiled. "He's not lying, Rufus."

Rufus looked at Tseng with the 'you're joking me, right?' look on his face. "I'm 23, I'm too old for kiddy stuff."

"Rufus, right now you're four. Second, I've know you since you were in 5th grade when I was in training, and you never did anything fun because you studied and was trying to please your father with excellent grades." Tseng raised an eyebrow. "So be happy you are getting an opportunity to be four and be a kid again."

"For a limited time only!" Reno pointed out acting like a spokesperson. Rufus growled and kicked Reno under the table, making a _thud_. Rude just rolled his eyes under his sunglasses and proceeded to eat.

"Rufus and Reno!" Elena shouted. "No comments or kicking."

"Elena, lets not have another food fight like we had at the Turk dinner." Reno flinched. He knew he was in for it. "I still had Mac and cheese in my hair for two weeks."

"Well, don't piss me off again." Elena smiled. "Tseng, you're in charge of these two."

Tseng looked p with the 'you're fucking crazy look'. "I was going to leave them with you!"

Elena glared at him. "Well, how about we watch one then?"

"Whose the third person to watch a kid?" Tseng asked. Elena smiled.

"I got just the person."

Midgar Fairgrounds…

"I can't believe you got me into this!" Reeve slapped his forehead. "My boss and two Turks are kids!"

"Would you have four Turks and a boss being four year olds, Reeve?" Cait Sith was sitting on his shoulder.

"No." Reeve looked away.

"Then be happy it isn't, at least Tseng and Elena are here right?" Cait Sith smiled.

"Wow!" Reno smiled. "Look at the rides, games, the ladies…"

"Reno, just because we're short doesn't mean you're going to look up girls skirts again like you did in kindergarten." Rude elbowed Reno. "And you're with Elena and you know how mad she can get."

"It's bad enough I gotta be with Rufus too." Reno crossed his arms and pouted. Rufus shot his head to Reno.

"Is there a problem artificial redhead!" Rufus growled. "I'm with Tseng so… nyeh…" Rufus stuck out his tongue.

"Boys. Knock it off." Tseng looked at the three. He was wearing a black leather jacket, white t-shirt, jeans and biker boots. He thought that wearing the uniform would cause problems. Elena had a blue t-shirt and jeans and Reeve was in his business suit, minus the jacket.

"Ok, which ride do we go on first?" Elena asked.

"I wanna ride that one!" Reno pointed to the ride called 'The Terminator'. A death drop and back up again.

"No Reno." Elena groaned. Reno groaned.

"Sucks to be four again…" Reno pouted.

"Well, ain't my fault you pulled the lever." Rufus smiled. Reno was about ready to tackle Rufus but Elena had a hold of his shirt collar without looking.

"I have a suggestion." Cait Sith smiled. "Chocobo rides!"

Everyone glared at Cait Sith.

"Someone remind me that when we're big again we kill Cait Sith for this." Rufus growled. Indeed, they were on chocobo's walking in circles with other children.

"This sucks… I wanted to go on 'The Terminator'. Rude! How ya doing back there?" Reno turned to see Rude on a chocobo behind Reno.

"Lovely." Rude groaned.

"They look cute on chocobos." Elena smiled and waved to the three.

"Wish I was one of them." Tseng smiled as he crossed his arms. Reeve was next to them and Cait Sith had a camera around his neck.

"Smile boys!" Cait Sith took a picture of the three. All the boys looked up with glares on their faces.

"That's it. We are defiantly killing Cait Sith when we're big again!" Reno snorted to Rufus. "Got any ideas how?"

"Yeah, tell you later." Rufus snarled.

"Please say its an ambush…" Rude asked.

"Yep." Rufus smiled, and Cait Sith took a picture.

After a few rides and games…

"Me and Elena are going on the roller coaster. Can you watch the three?" Tseng asked.

"Yeah, I got Cait Sith with me, I'm good." Reeve pointed to Cait Sith. Tseng smiled and left with Elena.

"I wanna go on the roller coaster!" Reno smiled at Reeve.

"Too short." Reeve looked down at Reno with one eyebrow raised. Reno pouted and looked as they were going up to the drop.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Elena screamed and Tseng was yelling and laughing as they went through loops and drops and swirls.

The two got off and were laughing. Rufus looked at the two boys. "I bet they had fun."

"So, had fun?" Reeve asked Elena.

"Yeah, I wanna go… Reeve?" Elena looked to see that Tseng was by the nearest trash can puking. Reeve patting his back.

"There goes lunch…" Rude looked away. Reno flinched from the sight and Rufus looked at Elena.

"So? How'd it go?" Rufus smiled. Elena looked at Rufus.

"Good until he puked just now, I think I won't be eating tonight." Elena looked away. Cait Sith walked to the woman and three boys.

"Reeve suggests we go home." Cait Sith said. "Tseng isn't feeling too good."

Everyone nodded and they all left, Tseng got some mints to hide the bad breath. Reeve drove them to Tseng's house and left…

What a day…

* * *

So there is chapter 5. Wow, thought I have less but... eh who cares. You're all welcomed to join my Turk RPG (see my profile for the link, just click my name) and join. I got two ideas for this so I'm off!

Thanks Wolf! You havent done my idea for Turk moments. (Reno + chocolate milk!)


	6. Babysitter's Crisis

Hello again, I'm back... sorry I haven't updated but I had family, prom, trouble with parents... ggrrr cant wait for college (in like, 2 years!), how about cant wait for Upward Bound...

Well anywho... I've been on writers block and a dear friend helped out with this. I like to thank you all for the reviews and to Arashi Maxwell aka Wolf for putting me in her fic 'Turk Oneshots'.

In return for Wolf's chapter with me in it... this chapter is for her...In any case, Rufus! Disclaimer!

Rufus: Laili does not own any of the charaters in this fic but the ninja squirrels not present in this fic.

And here is chapter 6 for Wolf!

* * *

Chibified

Chapter Six: Babysitter's crisis

"Do we have the babysitter yet!" Tseng shouted as he was doing his tie up. The two were already late for work and someone needed to watch the boys.

"They said she be here in ten minutes!" Elena was slipping her jacket on like mad. Reno was seated on the couch looking bored out of his mind and flicking channels every five seconds with his arm extended. Rufus was eating a bowl of cereal on the couch watching Reno flick channels and Rude just… sat there.

DING DONG!

"Finally!" Tseng yelled and ran to the door and opened it, revealing a teenage girl with whitish blonde hair and brown eyes. She had a black shirt on with jeans with tennis shoes.

"Arashi Maxwell at your service!" She saluted. "You can just call me Wolf."

She held her hand out to Tseng who just looked at her weird. He shook Wolf's hand and nodded. "You're the babysitter?"

"Indeed I am!" Wolf smiled. "So… where are they?"

"Here." Tseng pointed to the living room. In a flash, all the boys were lined up with smiles on their faces. Wolf clapped her hands together and tilted her head to the side, sighing.

"They're little angels!" Wolf smiled. Tseng nodded.

"Yes… um. Reno here, the redhead, stays away from sugar. Rufus, the blonde, make sure he doesn't fight with Reno. And Rude… well, he ain't too much trouble. We'll be back at five. ELENA!" Tseng yelled. Elena ran down the stairs and grabbed Tseng's arm out the door.

"Nice meeting you! Take care! BYE!" Elena said at 500 miles a minute and the door slammed shut. Wolf then turned to the boys.

"So…" Wolf looked at them. "Wanna play a game?"

Ten minutes later…

"Gotcha!" Wolf tagged Rude. Rude groaned and turned to Wolf.

"Can we play a different game?" Rude asked. Wolf leaned down towards Rude.

"After this… we'll play a different one." Wolf smiled. "Now… Rufus and Reno… where can they be?" Wolf began looking around. She went down the hall and looked behind the plant, under the table… Rude followed Wolf until he heard something above him. He looked up to see Reno doing a 'Splinter Cell' move on the ceiling. Reno gave him the 'shh' look and resumed position.

Lucky little shit isn't he?

"Reno?" Wolf looked around. "I know you're in here."

Rude just stood there. Wolf looked around and then looked up. "Gotcha!" Reno growled and fell into Wolf's arms, pouting.

"Now… where would Rufus be?" Wolf asked. "Do you know?"

The two shook their heads no. But they did know where he was… They followed Wolf into the kitchen.

"Rufus?" Wolf called out. "Where are you?"

She looked around the kitchen and Reno smiled. "I'm getting a glass of milk."

"Okay… If you see him, let me know." Wolf was looking in the pantry. Reno opened up the fridge to reveal a blonde boy, curled up in a ball, shivering. He even had a booger icicle coming out of his nose. Reno smiled, took the milk jug and closed the door. After pouring himself a glass of milk, Reno opened the door and without looking, shoved the milk jug into Rufus's arms.

Reno walked away drinking milk as Wolf was still looking.

"Rufus!" Wolf called out. It was no use. "Well… I'm going to get a soda."

"No!" Reno and Rude braced themselves to the fridge. Wolf stopped and crossed her arms with a smile.

"Why?" Wolf asked. Reno and Rude looked at each other. What were they going to say.

"Umm… mold. Yeah, there's a mold monster in here and he'll eat people!" Reno lied. Wolf raised an eyebrow at the redhead.

"Well… in that case. I can get rid of it for you." Wolf smiled and held up her materia bracelet. She pushed Reno and Rude aside and opened the fridge. "Rufus!"

Rufus chuckled. "Uh… hi?"

"Well… nice hiding spot. Get out and we'll play another game." Wolf smiled and helped Rufus out.

"Why do you have materia?" Rude asked.

"In case of a hostage situation, controlling of children and a friend of mine, and much much more!" Wolf smiled.

"Ok, Can we pick a game?" Reno smiled.

"Sure." Wolf smiled at Reno.

"Get her!" Reno called out and the three boys began to chase Wolf.

At Tseng's office…

Ring!

"Hello?" Tseng answered the phone and signed a piece of paperwork.

"Mr. Tseng! I can't control them!" Wolf yelled on the phone. "I'm being chased everywhere!"

"That's nice Wolf, have fun, keep Reno away from the sugar." Tseng smiled. Before she could say another word, he hung up.

Five o'clock…

Tseng and Elena opened the door to see Wolf clinging to the chandelier for life as the boys were still trying to get her.

"My gods!" Elena screamed in horror. "Boys!"

The boys ran over and lined up. "Yes Elena?"

"What are you doing?" Tseng asked. Wolf was trying to get down form her spot on the chandelier.

"Playing nice." They all smiled. Tseng ruffed up Reno's head and Elena helped Wolf down.

"Are you alright?" Elena asked.

"That'll be 100 gil, plus insurance." Wolf said. Elena paid Wolf and Wolf looked at her so called 'angels' grinning at her like little devils.

"You three are so dead the next time we meet." Wolf said as she left the house…

"That was fun!" Rufus smiled.

"When is she coming back Tseng?" Rude looked at Tseng.

"I think never." Tseng sighed.

* * *

well... there ya go, Thank you Wolf for the permission to use you in my fic, sorry i had to torture you though... but it's a humor fic!

News on my Turk RPG (see my profile for the link, need people!) we have 14 members and 706 as i post this chapter up. Keep on going guys!

So... i will try and get this writer's block off and get another chapter up. See ya later!


	7. Spiked

Wow... how long has it been? oO

I'm so sorry for the long term leave! God I feel bad.

Well, this was inspired by a few friends at Upward Bound last summer. This is to them!

Rufus! Disclaimer!

Rufus: Laili does not own anything other then the ninja squirrels not present in this fanfic.

Thank you and Enjoy!

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Chapter Seven: Spiked

The boys sat on the couch once again, Rufus this time was flicking through the channels with the remote. Reno was rubbing his hair with a towel, being fresh out of the shower. Rude was… cleaning and checking up on his sunglasses.

Elena walked through, slipping her coat on and grabbing her keys. "Well boys, I'm heading to work. Go easy on Tseng alright?"

"Yes Elena." Rufus stopped flicking channels and looked at her.

"We'll be good." Rude stood up and headed to the kitchen to raid the cereal boxes. Reno just grinned at her.

"Love ya Laney!" Reno blew her a kiss. Elena just glared at him with a dull look.

"I don't date younger men." Elena said and walked out the door. "Have Tseng call me if there's a problem."

Elena then left. Rude returned with a bowl of Tonberry Jacks and began eating.

"You know, this being Tseng's day off… what does he do?" Rufus asked. Reno stood up to dispose of his towel. Rude looked over at his boss.

"He sleeps."

"All day?!" Rufus said, acting surprised. "Jeez, I run a big ass company 24/7 and hardly ever get that much sleep. Dear god, Heidegger can't run this without me for a freaking day. "Palmer's being an ass… Hojo has an experiment he wants to show you… blah blah blah"."

Reno walked back into the room. "Well, boss man, that was your fault you became President."

Rufus grumbled. "Blame old man for that. It's his fault he knocked my mom up and had me."

Rude just ate his cereal.

Rufus stood up on the couch. "Men. New orders! We're waking up Tseng. It isn't fair that we have to be up while he sleeps! Someone has to make sure we stay out of trouble!"

Reno and Rude looked at each other, then at Rufus and nodded. Rufus held his finger up, about ready to speak, but couldn't think of anything. He then placed his hand on his chin and sat.

"Any ideas for a fun day?" Rufus asked. Reno ended up grinning like the Grinch when he devised his plan to steal Christmas.

"Rufus. I need to tell you something. It just might work."

Rude opened the door to Tseng's room. Tseng was out like a Christmas light in his bed, pillow over his head. Rude quietly snuck in, tip toeing his way in. The boys drew straws… Rude had the shortest, he had to do this part of their "Mission".

He snuck over and got to Tseng's nightstand. He grabbed the alarm clock and his cell phone. Rude set the alarm clock for five minutes after eight, five minutes from now. Rude then placed the alarm clock back in it's place and set it. He then opened up Tseng's phone and set the alarm for ten minutes after eight.

When done, Rude placed the phone back. Tseng flipped over and Rude dived under his bed, in case Tseng just woke up.

He didn't.

Rude then crawled, over Tseng's sniper rifle, over the shotgun which was loaded, and bullets. Rude then quietly got out and got out of the room and closed the door. He then looked down the hall and saw Reno looking at him from the arm of the couch. Rude gave thumbs up.

Reno grinned. "All coming into order. Rufus! Is it ready!"

Rufus walked in from the kitchen. "Coffee is being made."

Reno sat on the couch and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent."

-----------------------------------------------

BEEP BEEP BEEP -- WHACK!

Tseng's fist slammed on the alarm clock. He then pondered around for the switch and turned it on. He then flipped over and muttered. Elena must of set the alarm clock.

The boys were doing their part of the plan… wait. After another five minutes. The phone was vibrating, ringing like mad, and that… woke Tseng up.

Tseng jumped out of bed, revealing that he wore no shirt and grabbed his phone which almost hit the floor, Tseng reached to catch it and fell out of bed.

The boys heard a thump noise. They all smiled.

Tseng then turned his phone off and looked at it strangely. "Must have been Elena."

Tseng then carried himself into the living room, only in a pair of pajama pants. The boys watched him as he walked by.

"Morning Boss Man!" Reno piped in joy. Tseng muttered and raised his hand, he then went into the kitchen.

"Good… coffee." Tseng smiled. Tseng then grabbed the things needed to make coffee. He poured it into a cup, a spoonful of sugar, and then went to the fridge for cream.

"Part B in motion." Reno whispered. Rude and Rufus watched as Reno reached into the lower cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Spike soda. Note: This soda is VERY high in caffeine and sugar on dangerous levels.

Rude watched Tseng, as Rufus watched Reno in horror.

Reno poured a bit into Tseng's coffee, and put the soda back, while Tseng had his head in the fridge.

Reno then calmly walked out, Tseng then turned to see Reno.

"Reno?" Tseng asked.

Rufus and Rude hid. Rufus bit his lower lip. Reno then turned to Tseng. "Yeah?"

"Where's the cream?" Tseng asked.

"Behind the orange juice." Reno answered and walked out. Tseng turned and was confused. He usually left his creamer at the door. Aw well. Must have been Elena.

Actually, Rufus did it.

Reno walked back in and gave the two boys a thumbs up. "Now we wait."

Tseng was sitting on the couch with the boys, still with no shirt and in pajama pants. He was drinking his coffee.

The boys were looking at each other. Wondering when it would happen.

Tseng finished his coffee and got up. "I'm getting a shower and getting dressed. Be good."

The boys watched as Tseng went to his room.

"What the hell!?" Rufus glared at Reno. "You said it was gonna work!?"

Reno shook his head and took a deep breath. "Patience grasshopper. You'll get your results."

--------------------------------------------

"Boys!" Tseng walked back in, almost jittery in his movement and smiling like crazy. Now wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. "LETS GO TO THE MALL!"

"Yay!" The boys shouted for joy.

"Grab your coats and lets go! We'll grab lunch there and on the way home, we'll grab some Kalm Fried Chocobo for dinner!" Tseng smiled even more crazier. The sugar and caffeine had kicked in, making Tseng sugar and caffeine high that he wasn't "Mr. Serious Workaholic Tseng" .

Rufus looked over at meetings. "Now I see why he's so hyper at meetings now!"

Reno looked over. "You're welcome."

Rude grabbed his coat. "Think he'll buy a ton of candy!?"

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Elena came home. She walked in and noticed a very quiet house…

Too quiet…

She looked around. "Tseng? Reno? Rude? Rufus? Come on… no need to play games."

Elena took a deep breath as she took her blazer and tie off. "Where are they… Well… I might as well start--"

"We're home!" The boys all said as they walked in the door. Big bags full of candy in their hands. Rude had a lollipop in his mouth, Reno was chewing gum, and Rufus had a Jolly Rancher in his mouth.

Elena looked horrified. "Where's--"

"Here!" Tseng walked in, all happy as a madman with a bucket of KFC, two bottles of soda, and biscuits in one bag in one arm. "Brought home some Kalm Fried Chocobo!"

Elena was shocked. Tseng shoved the bag into Elena's arms and ruffled Rufus and Reno's hair. "We had a fun day! Didn't we boys?!"

"Yeah!" The boys replied. Elena just stood there.

"Tseng?" Elena asked. "Are you okay?"

Tseng looked up, taking a sip of Spike soda. "Yeah."

Elena glared and grabbed the bottle of soda from Tseng. "TSENG! YOU'RE SUGAR AND CAFFENINE HIGH!?"

She shook the bottle in Tseng's face. Tseng grabbed it and look at it. "Wow. This is good stuff."

"Tseng!" Elena yelled. She then glared at the boys.

"YOU SPIKED TSENG!?" Elena screamed. The boys looked at each other. Rufus and Rude pointed to Reno.

"ITS HIS FAULT!" Rufus and Rude yelled. Reno had a pixie stick up his nose.

"Huh?" Reno looked confused. "They helped me though. Tseng wouldn't get out of bed. We had no choice."

The boys made sweet little faces at Elena, like little cute puppies, although Reno had a pixie stick in his nose. Elena sighed and shook her head.

"Alright. But…" Elena took the soda away from Tseng. "No more Spike for you!"

Tseng's head dropped in sadness. "Damnit."

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At eleven P.M… Tseng crashed on the couch… a total wreck.

"Ow…" Tseng rubbed his head in a pillow. "Ain't ever doing that again… Where's the painkillers?"

He walked into the kitchen for painkillers for his migraine.

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Yep. While rocking to the FFVII: Crisis Core Soundtrack and sheer boredom. I remembered and is now back to fanfiction writing.

Thanks! More shall soon come.


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